Tuesday, March 18, 2014

Jennifer L Hart Spring 2014 Newsletter

Dear readers and friends,


Oh, spring. Where the heck are you? I woke up to an ice storm this morning and a three hour delay for the imps. Translation: It's ten AM and I'm thinking of turning my coffee into an Irish coffee. Who's with me?

To all of my new subscribers, welcome! Happy to have you on board for more zany antics. For my die hard awesome regulars, bear with me as I bring the newbies up to speed.

I just updated my website again and my fans now have their own slideshow. Email me at laundryhag1(at)gmail(dot)com with a photo of your Hag swag/ Undamaged goods and I'll add it to my site! Pets, great aunt Bessie and your smiling face are all welcome to join the fun. Don't have any swag? Fear not, I've got a monkey butt ton (the technical term) of swag to give away so stay tuned. If you don't want to roll the dice, you can always purchase from my online store, jenniferlhart.com under extras.

It's official, this book release has been over a year in the making. Character design, cover art design, swag design, a Damaged Goods Facebook page, giveaways, and more. I've thrown everything I've got into this series and I'm super excited to share it with all of you.When? Soon. How soon? Very soon, though maybe not soon enough for some

June 10, 2014

She's serving up Mayhem in the Magic City....




FINAL STRAW

Dishing out bad news is Jackie Parker’s job. So when her boss grabs her assets one time too many, she serves him her notice and hopes he chokes on it. There must be a better way for a certified process server to make a living in Miami than working for a lousy lecherous lawyer. Whatever Jackie decides, her number one priority is spending time with her husband, Luke, preferably without his brother Logan—AKA the Dark Prince. 

FINAL WARNING

Despite Logan’s objections, Luke asks her to join forces in their own property management team, Damaged Goods. Drawing the line between professional and personal lives proves challenging, especially when Logan serves her an ultimatum—tell Luke the truth about what really happened the night they first met or he will. Sexual harassment is looking better and better.  

FINAL NOTICE 

Fester Gomez is three months behind on the rent for his pricey South Beach condo and Damaged Goods is on the job. Either they convince the tenant to pay up or he’ll face eviction. The simple task turns deadly when the team discovers Gomez missing and a Jane Doe slowly decomposing in his bathtub. Serving a killer up to justice, wrestling family secrets—it’s just another day on the job for Damaged Goods.

  
To help spread the word, I'm inviting all of you to join my street team, Hart's Hotshots. What's in it for you? An advanced copy of Final Notice and a few other goodies. What's in it for me? Help in getting the word out. Reviews and recommendations are invaluable to an author. Anyone interested in joining my street team should contact me at laundryhag1@gmail.com
subject: Hart's Hotshots
(Click for more information on Jenn's street team)



Audiobook News:

The fabulous Suzanne Ceretta is back as the voice of Maggie in The Misadventures of the Laundry Hag: All Washed Up. Regardless of how much I enjoy writing the Hag books, it's even more fun hearing them read by a professionally trained narrator!

Maggie Phillips is fine—just ask her. So what if two psychos tried to do her in and her business is all but dead, she never wanted to be the laundry hag to begin with, so why should she mourn her tattered reputation? With spring comes a fresh start, garage sale season and the birth of her brother’s first child. Life goes on even if cleaning has lost its luster and the sight of her scarred hands brings back horrific memories.

Help is on the way, whether she wants it or not. When Maggie’s mother-in-law asks her to assist with renovations to their project house in upstate New York, she smells a rat. Matters become murkier when Laura casually tells the former laundry hag to “see to that pesky ghost,” like the phantom is ring around the bathtub. But both Neil and Sylvia are eager to undertake the zany task and really, what else does she have to do?

How about solve a two decade old murder, find a few long lost relatives, fix her mental hang-ups and reconnect with the husband she’s pushed away. And if she has any time to spare, maybe she can even survive a pissed-off apparition and keep it from finishing the job the last two killers started.
Third time’s the charm…right?

Audible          iTunes       Amazon

Hag 3 is also available for Kindle. 

So that's it. Next email should have buy links for Final Notice and news on more upcoming books!

Monday, February 10, 2014

Join Jenn's Street Team!

What's a street team? The Hotshots are my boots on the ground, a group of readers who help get the word out about me and my books. There are several ways to do this.


In Person:

* Talk Jenn's books up and share promo material with friends and family

* Buy Jenn’s books the first week of release, which helps it get on the bestseller lists

* Ask your local library to order Jenn’s books. Give the librarians the title, name and publisher of each book.

* If Jenn’s books aren’t on the shelves, ask the bookseller to order it
   
* Take promo materials sent to you to your local stores, place them with the booksellers. You can leave them with libraries and even at coffee shops

* Take promo materials sent to you to your local reader group, writers group

Online:

* Feature interviews, reviews, excerpts, covers, or Jenn’s video trailers via your blog, site, Facebook, Twitter, etc

* Share your (honest) review of the book via Amazon and BN.com
   
* “Like” Jenn’s books on Amazon.com & BN.com
  
* Recommend and add Jenn’s books on Goodreads / Shelfari

Do whatever feels comfortable. Your support means the world to me.

What's in it for you:


* Free print/ PDF copies  of my latest book a few weeks prior to the release date.

* Free Hag Swag/ Un-Damaged Goods. 

* A free audiobook from audible every time one of my books comes out in that format

* Promo materials

* An online badge (above) for your blog/ website proclaiming you as one of Hart's Hotshots

* The most up-to-date info about what I have in the works, projected release dates and sales.

Interested? email me laundryhag1 (at) gmail (dot) com
subject Hart's Hotshots.  And welcome to the team!

Friday, January 10, 2014

Laundry Hag 3 Now for Sale on Amazon!

BUY IT NOW FROM Amazon

Maggie Phillips is fine—just ask her. So what if two psychos tried to do her in and her business is all but dead, she never wanted to be the laundry hag to begin with, so why should she mourn her tattered reputation? With spring comes a fresh start, garage sale season and the birth of her brother’s first child. Life goes on even if cleaning has lost its luster and the sight of her scarred hands brings back horrific memories.

Help is on the way, whether she wants it or not. When Maggie’s mother-in-law asks her to assist with renovations to their project house in upstate New York, she smells a rat. Matters become murkier when Laura casually tells the former laundry hag to “see to that pesky ghost,” like the phantom is ring around the bathtub. But both Neil and Sylvia are eager to undertake the zany task and really, what else does she have to do?

How about solve a two decade old murder, find a few long lost relatives, fix her mental hang-ups and reconnect with the husband she’s pushed away. And if she has any time to spare, maybe she can even survive a pissed-off apparition and keep it from finishing the job the last two killers started Third time’s the charm…right?

Tuesday, December 24, 2013

Who's ready for more Laundry Hag?

Happy Holidays, Gang!

Yeah yeah, enough with the pleasantries. If you're like me and everybody's favorite washer woman, you're up to your eyebrows in flour, sugar, gift wrap and running out of tape and oh dear sweet baby Jesus, please don't tell me I'm out of tape and need to make another trip to Wal-Mart! Yes, in fact I am. Just kill me now.

Well, I've got a little present to help get you through, a sneak peak into my upcoming release, featuring Maggie and Neil and all the rest of the cleaning crew that will be out early next year on Amazon. So save those gift cards!

And enough of my inane babble and on with the hag!

The following excerpt is Part One of chapter one of The Misadventures of the Laundry Hag: All washed Up.



Chapter One
             
            The sun had yet to make its debut over the eastern hills when I rolled out of bed, silencing the alarm clock before it blated out whatever hideously upbeat ditty was playing on the radio. It took a damn good reason to get my pasty white hide out of bed so early in the morning without a coffee IV. And for the first time in what felt like an eon, I had a good reason. All the Whos down in Whoville had joined hands and welcomed the start of garage sale season.
            Or maybe it was just me.
            Call me kooky, but nothing gets me quite as fired up as bargain hunting first thing on a Saturday morning. What better way to start the weekend than to score half a dozen paperbacks, a lamp and a hodgepodge of dishes for $8.50? You won’t find that in a department store. Plus, nothing gives one as much insight into the human condition as pawing through other people’ s bits and bobs of inorganic flotsam. One thing I’ve learned in all my years of garage sale hopping—you never know a recovering Air Supply fan at first blush.
            “Neil,” I whispered, shaking my husband’s bare shoulder. His skin was hot to the touch, a shocking contrast to the chilly room. My very own human radiator. “Time to get up.”
            One eyelid opened a crack. “It’s not even light out.”
            “I want to get out there before all the good stuff is gone.”
            He rolled over onto his back, his voice thick with sleep. “Uncle Scrooge, we’re talking about other people’s unwanted crap.”
            “But it could be our unwanted crap!” Wait, that didn’t come out right.
            He moved so fast I wasn’t even aware of his intention. Neil pinned me down, gripped my arms and his beard stubble rasped along my neck as he purred, “I can think of a much better way to spend the next few hours. And we don’t even have to leave the bed.”
            Oh hell, he was aiming the big gun. Unsure of how to respond, I put my hands on his shoulders. The sight of my hideously scarred paws was all it took to cool my ardor to permafrost levels. I stiffened up, not wanting to deal with another flashback to the explosion that had maimed me a few months earlier. Talk about a mood killer.
Neil sensed my hesitation and dropped his head with a defeated sigh. “Still?”
            Stuffing my hands back under the covers I groused, “They’re ugly.” Not to mention a painful reminder how fricking stupid I was. Not exactly a turn on.
            “You’re killing me, Maggie. It’s been weeks of nothing but bread and water here. First your brother and his pregnant girlfriend are camped out in our bed and then your recovery and now whatever crazy playlist you have in your mind that’s turning you frigid.”
            I sucked in a breath at the f word. “I cannot believe you just said that.”
            Neil didn’t back down, not that I’d expected him to. SEAL training 101, never say die, even when you’re impersonating a horse’s patoot. “If the chastity belt fits.”
            We’d been married for almost twelve years and I’d learned not to back down either, unless I wanted him to think he was right. “I can see marriage counseling has been oh so good for our relationship. Remind me to give Dr. Bob a review on Hudson’s business web finder list, under Q for quack.”
            Neil threw off the covers, his romantic zeal gone. “You’re the one who wants to stay here! I said we should move.”
            I slithered out of bed and stumbled into a half-assed but fully sarcastic curtsy. “So says his majesty, king of the castle, then so be it. If you’ll excuse me, the laundry hag has duties to be about.” I whirled on my heel and scampered to the bathroom. Even with the door shut I still heard his frustrated bellow.
            “Damn it, Maggie, don’t run away!” His shout was followed by a loud crash and a thunderous woof from Atlas, our six month old St. Bernard mix. I think the other half of his parentage was draft horse because the windows rattled when he charged down the hall. Thunder echoed as he galloped headlong towards his master, then back to the sliding glass door off the dining room in an oh so subtle hint. Like it or not, the Phillips house had officially started the weekend.
 I could feel Neil pause outside the bathroom door and held my breath. I didn’t know what to say to him and he must have been having the same problem because he didn’t speak. The dog barked again, breaking the tense moment. Neil’s sigh was audible even through the door and then his footsteps followed in the wake of doggie destruction.
            “That went well,” I muttered. Neil’s infinite patience had run out. He had it in his head that I was holding out on sex to punish him. For what, I had no idea, but as the nookieless days dragged on, all I knew was that my husband didn’t understand me anymore. My gaze fell to my hands. Hell, I didn’t even understand myself.
            I glared at my reflection, glad at least the marks there had faded to a few whitish lines. I could have died. A few scars and mangled paws were solid reminders that life was precious. The woman in the mirror looked ready to sob her penny pinching heart out.
“Cry me a river, why don’t ya?” Turning my back on the mirror and starting the shower, I was determined to move on with my day, with my life. This place was just a bad patch. Every couple went through one. Ours was postponed due to military lifestyle and children taking precedence. We were long overdue for a significant marital spat.
            Enough brooding. I lathered, rinsed, repeated, all the while making a mental list of what I wanted to find during my garage sale hop. Later on in the season I’d go out to browse around, find a trashy romance novel or ten. But for the first sale I needed to get organized, keep my focus.
            “Mom, Uncle Marty’s here and I gotta go!” Kenny pounded on the bathroom door.
            So much for focus. “Two minutes!” Sopping wet, I stepped from the shower and into my bathrobe. Teeth brushing could wait until after coffee. We had a plan and nothing was going to derail it. Not today.
            “Maggie, the baby’s coming!” My brother’s voice held a hysterical note.
            Except maybe for that. 
            “What?” Wrenching the door open, I glared up at him. Kenny pushed past me and shut the door on my bathrobe tie. “No, not possible. She’s not due until next month. We haven’t even had the shower yet!”
            Marty’s thick eyebrows drew together. “You just got out of the shower.”
            Neil smacked him on the back of his head as he moved past us toward the kitchen. “A baby shower, numb-nuts.”
            Marty nodded and then frowned as his mental train switched tracks. “I need your car.”
            It took half a dozen tugs to free my bathrobe from the doorjamb. “What’s wrong with the camper?” Marty and his baby mama had parked a not so mobile home on my front lawn two months ago and it hadn’t moved since.    
“Out of gas.”
            Glaring, I pushed past him. “You never filled the tank?”
            “Have you seen oil prices lately?” My brother followed me down the hall.
            I whirled and stuck an accusing finger in his face. “You can’t drive a pregnant woman to the hospital in a Mini Cooper! What if you don’t make it, the back seat is full of cleaning supplies.” I shut the door and scurried into jeans and a T-shirt.
            “What about Neil’s truck?” Marty called through the door.
            “It’s ten feet off the ground. I can barely haul my cookies into it. You’d need a crane to get her into the cab. What about Sylvia’s car?”
            Sylvia Wright was our next door neighbor and my best friend. A few weeks ago she’d also become Marty’s landlady/ roommate. In the middle of a messy divorce, Sylvia needed all the financial help she could get. She’d moved her worldly belongs into the apartment over her garage and given Marty and Penny the run of her federal style house. The solution was far from perfect but it was better than trying to house them under our roof.
            Marty tripped over Atlas who was sniffing at his leg, possibly looking for a date. “Sylvia’s not home, her car’s gone.”
            “Socks, socks, socks,” I chanted and tried to force the idea of a home birth from my mind. No amount of disinfectant would make that all right. No socks to be found. “Screw it.” Sandals it was.
            Flinging open the door, I pushed past Marty again. “Neil, I’m taking Penny to the hospital.”
            An apology was written in my husband’s blue-green eyes, along with a healthy dollop of frustration, but we didn’t have time to hash it out now. He nodded and did what he did best, got down to the task at hand. “What do you want me to do?”
            “Get Josh and Kenny up while Marty fills his freaking gas tank, then meet us in the maternity ward. I’ll try to track Sylvia down in case we need her to take the boys. This might be a long labor.”
            Marty grabbed my arm. “I’m the father, I should drive her.”
            I opened my mouth to say something pithy and Neil clamped a hand over it. “It’s his son or daughter coming into the world.”
            Lord have mercy. My baby brother stood before me, a full grown man. Maybe not the best man to ever drag his knuckles across the pavement, but a man nonetheless. Neil was right, damn it all, I couldn’t keep taking over for him when things got rough. I sagged, the wind going out of my sails. “My keys are in my purse.”
            Marty dropped a kiss on my cheek, grabbed the hobo bag off the bench seat in the hallway and ran outside.
            I slumped back against my husband’s chest. “Man makes plans and God laughs.”
             Neil wrapped his arms around me and nuzzled my hair. “As long as someone is having a good time.”


Saturday, December 14, 2013

December Newsletter


Dear readers and friends,



It's almost that magical time of year. The time where I can tell the world at large to kiss my grits because I've got a novel to write in a month. That's right, November is National Novel Writing Month, commonly referred to in the writing community as nano. Tonight I'll take my imps out to cavort with witches and wizards, vampires and zombies all roaming the streets seeking a Halloween sugar rush, and then at midnight it's a month of ME time. 

The natives have already been warned that I MEAN BUSINESS this year. I have a book that is clawing it's way out of me and a need to bring you all an old favorite in a new adventure.

Plotting, cover design, prepping my work space for optimal performance, freezing meals for quick dinners, ect.   I swear I spend more time every year prepping for Nano than I did for my wedding. That 'll tell you where my priorities lie. Although the natives have to fend for themselves while I churn out a book in a month, they do get the benefit of the dedication. 

This one is for my sons, Danny and AJ, who provide hours of inspiration, entertainment and a never ending pile of laundry. I wouldn't have it any other way.

Have I teased you enough? Normally I keep my WIP under wraps but this year well, you've all been asking for it.





That's right, that Hag is ready to ride again! Along with Neil, Marty, Sylvia and the in-laws from hell who have a much bigger role in All Washed Up. Can you imagine Maggie and Laura actually agreeing on something for a change? All I can say is, poor Neil!

All thanks for this long awaited sequel can be directed to the fabulous Suzanne Cerreta, the voice of Maggie in the Misadventures audiobooks. She's brought the characters rushing back to the foreground and reminded me where I was headed with this series that I loved so much.The Swept Under the Rug audiobook has been approved and should be up for sale on audible, Amazon and iTunes in the next few days.

Meanwhile, Stellar Timing, narrated by the talented Hollie Jackson is now up for sale. To celebrate, the kindle edition of Stellar is  FREE on Amazon this weekend, 10/31-11/04! Spread the word!

PLUS, I'm having a mega huge audiobook credit giveaway. FIVE  AUDIBLE CREDITS up for grabs in November. If you're already receiving my newsletter, you're a step ahead, just sign up on either my Facebook page or my website

Don't want to wait?  You can just go buy your copy of Stellar Timing right now!


iTunes




So ebooks, and audiobooks and new books OH MY! I'm off like a prom dress so I can bring you more mystery, mayhem, laughter and love in the new year. Until then, happy reading!

Saturday, August 31, 2013

How much of a difference does price make?

All rabid readers have their favorite autobuy authors, the one's they will pay anything (within reason) to purchase the latest book. Patricia Briggs is one of mine. I have almost everything she's ever written in either print, ebook and audiobook, in some cases all three. But what about a new author, someone either recommended to you or that you stumbled across. You read the free preview and think, hmmm..that sounds interesting but the price makes you hesitate before ordering your copy.

Recently I stumbled across an author I wanted to try. I bought the first (waaaayyyy overpriced) ebook for my kindle and enjoyed it. But to finish out the series, it would have cost me over fifty dollars, which I was not willing to do. Luckily my local library had the rest of the books in stock and after reading them, I'm extremely glad I didn't splurge because I never want to revisit the series.

So here's the question. Where is that price point for you? The number that makes you back away and say, maybe if it goes on sale or let me look elsewhere. When my books are free for a promotion, they FLY, especially the Hag series. They are only $2.99 normally. I received a recommendation for a book with a stellar premise that was $.99 cents. I didn't buy it, but that's because my To Be Read pile could choke a donkey. But it is on my wishlist so I fully intend to get it at some point in the future. Found another mystery series that was priced more for kindle than print and immediately checked the library. I don't buy print much anymore and when the kindle version costs more, I don't roll the dice.

So in the end, me trying a new author depends on price more than anything else. If I already love their work, it matters a whole lot less.

Is there a magic number for you as a reader? Do you look at who published the book and check at your local library first? Or do you see, click and read?