Monday, October 24, 2011

What About B.O.B?

Jennifer L. Hart for Writers Gone Wild.

So, you know we creative types, we're sprightly creatures full of dreams and whimsy. And sometimes, just sometimes, the practical stuff gets missed. I have been recently made aware of a rather big whoopsie daisy type gaffe in my bestselling book (seriously, that will NEVER get old ;-) Who Needs A Hero?

*****************SPOILERS AHEAD. SERIOUSLY, YOU'VE BEEN WARNED!!!!!!!!!!!*******************************************************

The set up: Maggie, the nanny heroine, is all alone on her birthday. Neil, our hero/ mental train wreck, is off being super SEAL, the children are asleep and she's throwing a very festive pity party, table for one. Enter Leo, the neighbor who cooks like an angel and cusses like a sailor and has brought Maggie a special birthday present.

A vibrator, A.K.A a battery operated boyfriend. Or B.O.B for short.

So there is my sweet little former bible thumping heroine is, trying to come up with a polite way to decline said awesome gift, and her go-to excuse is "it's just not sanitary". Leo insists that B.O.B is dishwasher safe, top rack only, and then proceeds to plop it in the dishwasher between the sippy cups.

And the front door opens. Uh oh, Neil's back. Wouldn't do to be caught with the gay neighbor and a sex toy by the boss man. So Maggie slams the dishwasher and the next morning when she checks, B.O.B has disappeared and Maggie and Neil have bigger issues.

So....what happened to B.O.B?

No, I did not forget that he was M.I.A. Somehow, in the stretching the book from 67 to 80 thousand words, the ending changed entirely and the fact that B.O.B never made a cameo at the end got missed. Nothing worse than setting up for a joke and never giving the punch line.

"Daddy, Daddy, come see my sword!" One of Neil's eyebrows rose in a speculative arch. Setting down his seabag he looked over at me for an answer. I didn't have the foggiest and shook my head. Though I might not be the world's greatest nanny, even Marty knew better than to let the boys play with sharp pointy objects. "Let's see, buddy." Neil called out. Josh marched in, a giant grin on his face, a dish towel draped across his slim shoulders and B.O.B gripped in his small fists, wielded aloft like a big phallic beacon for all the world to see.

This was actually the original ending to the book, instead of the wedding on the beach. The romantic horse outpaced the comedian in this particular race, but I am sorry I missed this rather big (giggle) edit.

I will remedy in all electronic versions ASAP.

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